Blue Jays, God's cathedral and Black Sheep

 Well, the Blue Jays had a good run, didn’t they. In the end, one swing of the bat made a difference. Unfortunately the one swing resulted in a double play to end the series in favour of LA, rather than one swing over the fences which would have ended it for the Blue Jays to be winners. I must admit I have been an enthusiastic follower of sports over the years, especially in my youth, including hockey, baseball and football. Even as an adult. On occasion when we were still a family of three, Marie, Tim and I even went to Blue Jays games in Toronto, Detroit and Cleveland. 

 It was a fun time, to be sure. However in recent years, I have given sports a lot less attention, just as I have reduced my enthusiasm for trying for big day, month, year or even life lists for birds. When all is said and done, what does it really mean? Maybe some brief satisfaction but it really amounts to very little in the bigger picture. Maybe when the Olympics are on this winter it will be more satisfying and even somewhat inspirational, as the Olympians are not being paid hundreds of millions of dollars for doing what they do. So even though I have the TV on to keep up with some of the action, I often have it on mute and have the Christian radio station playing where there is more satisfaction and uplifting comment. On the TV, the constant chatter by commentators, as well as the barrage of nonsensical advertisements which are mostly for things that are relatively useless, is annoying. Years ago one never heard ads featuring gambling, but they seem to be one of the main ones these days, especially on sports channels. Christian music is so, so much more worthwhile to have coming into my brain! It was interesting to read in a recent The Word For You Today that there are so many things that keep us distracted from the important things, and that is exactly what the devil is doing, and quite successfully from all appearances. There is some upside of sports. It can be somewhat inspiring when in an after-game interview, an athlete gives thanks to God for His role in the person’s or team’s success, and puts some attention and thankfulness on God. Hopefully the many persons listening who normally give God very little thought, will take notice and give it some thought.

God's Cathedral  

It was June 22, 2014, and  I went to Rondeau on this late June morning. Here is what I wrote about the outing: It was quite sunny with calm winds……a joy to be out. The forest along Rondeau Road and Bennett Avenue has held a special place for me for quite some time, and today was no exception. The greens are so vivid and rich, the layering of colours and hues so extensive, extending as far as the eye can see. The shapes and lines of the trees forms are innumerable…..some aged and gnarled with bark sloughing off, some perfectly straight and in their prime.  The variable, but sometimes immense dark tree trunks are so tall and stately, especially of the Tuliptrees…..I am convinced I am in God’s great natural cathedral, and He is there with me.

The variety of greens, grays and blacks are extensive, with a few other colours in for variety. With the atmosphere being punctuated by melodious bird song, it might be expected to put one in sensory overload. Sometimes when I am in a human environment, a store for example, with myriad colours of so many things on the shelves, I do get into sensory overload mode, and I can't wait to leave. The intensity of colours in such settings clash severely. However in this majestic natural cathedral of God’s own making, even though the plethora of greens and grays with a few other colours mixed in, is as extensive as one could ever imagine. There is no feeling of sensory overload at all. Instead, the shades and colours are so complementary to each other, as they should be as per the Master Designer. What a blessing to be able to see and experience such wonderful creativity! On the one hand, one wants to get the camera out and capture it all, but my inner self is at least temporarily satisfied with just enjoying every hue of His majesty in this place. Anyway, how could man’s mere technology capture the fullness of God’s glory???

In other things. 

It has been a difficult last few days in some respects. I came across a few more of Marie’s journal notes, and they weren’t easy to get through. Most people who knew Marie will know her as a quiet, friendly, thoughtful, caring, individual, often smiling and she was all of that and much more, in a very positive sense. So supportive in many ways, and I am still amazed and so thankful that God had her available to be my best friend and wife, and I thank Him several times a day. But she didn’t often express some of the innermost thoughts she was dealing with. Even when we were first courting, and afterwards, she didn’t express a lot of those thoughts except on rare occasions, but a bit more so in later years. Instead, she expressed many of those thoughts in her journals, which she kept to herself. In the aftermath of her passing, I came across boxes of them, and was able to read many of them. There are still some that I have come across. Most have been shredded, as I read in one of her later journal messages that she wasn’t sure she wanted anyone reading the several boxes of journals that dated back even before I knew her. So far I have shredded two extra large garbage bags full, each of which were 121 L capacity, and were jam-packed with shredded journals. I will probably do more shredding. While I was becoming increasingly aware of some of her thoughts and struggles over the last couple of decades, I didn’t realize just how much until after reading so much. The principal thing she was struggling with was the sexual abuse she experienced as a young child, on several occasions, probably via more than one perpetrator, and over several years. There were other things along the way in her early family life, that added to her internal thoughts and struggles. Fortunately in her late teens, she asked Jesus to be her Saviour, and that had a huge positive influence in her life, of course, and I was blessed in so many ways with her as my wife. And I continue to be blessed in ways that I could not have imagined.

 My current plan is to get into some of these struggles in one or more future posts, and how the devil harassed her in subtle ways. As I mentioned earlier, most of these struggles were internal, and she didn’t exhibit their effects to most people, probably just the various counselors she dealt with over several decades. And when she couldn’t sleep, she would sometimes spend time writing about her thoughts and concerns. So when she finally left this earthly life as a result of the slow and steady decline, physically, mentally and spiritually, it took many of her friends, even fairly close ones, by surprise. Given what she was wrestling with, in spite of the fact that I miss her dearly, I thank God daily that He rescued her from the path she was going down, and now I am convinced that she is more beautiful and perfect than ever!

 Unrelated to the content of this post to this point, I have become increasingly aware of a song on UCB radio, that gets my attention. It is called ‘Black Sheep’, written and sung by Ben Fuller.  Ben has an intriguing background, having grown up on a dairy farm and being constantly under pressure to work harder, never getting the feeling even from his family members he was loved. As a result at the age of 16, he came very close to ending his life, but in the last few moments before pulling the trigger, didn’t. However he turned to alcohol, drugs and promiscuity, but never got caught doing anything illegal. His best friend died of fentanyl. He did learn to play guitar and sing, and after moving to Nashville several years later, was invited to church by a friend, where he gave his life to Jesus. Now he sings in various places, including in prisons, to encourage the inmates of Jesus’ love for them. While most of us haven’t gotten to the place where he was at, we have all been black sheep at some point and in various ways. This song is done in what I consider a minor key, and the lyrics are simple but direct, and causes one to reflect. Here is the link: Black Sheep

 

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