So much inspiration!!

 The focus on my blog posts vary a lot, as you know, as I go through so many ups and downs. Sometimes when I am really needing inspiration, I turn again to this book.

I know I have featured this book before, but it warrants it again! Certainly the Bible is the number one book ever. However if you have any interest in your long-term future, especially after you pass from the earthly body and wonder what the next stage of existence may be like, there is no question that this book is a must read! Even though our earthly life may be 70, 80 or even 100 years, it is just a speck in the ocean compared to eternity. Our physical body is gone, but the real you is the unique spirit created by God and makes you who you really are. The author, originally an atheist, came across a book that featured people who had Near Death Experiences after having died anywhere for several minutes to several hours, and returned to their earthly life. The commonality after researching thousands of such NDE, of what they experienced was nothing short of amazing and inspiring. The research included people of all faiths, ages, professions and different parts of the world. And while the Bible is the number one overall reference book with which to know God, it is kind of like a black-and-white version of what to expect in His heavenly realm compared with the vivid descriptions by so many who have had a NDE, and often say that the human language cannot describe the overwhelming love and beauty of what they experienced. I know Marie is experiencing so many wonderful things in His heavenly realm, and I look forward to joining her and others at some point in the future.

I have read books by many Christian authors over the years, including in no particular order, ones by Phillip Yancy, Lee Strobel, Chip Ingram, Brother Lawrence, Brother Andrew, David Jeremiah, Hal Lindsey, J. I. Packer, Josh McDowell and others. They have all been great and encouraging for various reasons. But the inspiration of the eternal future as described in John Burke’s book, is unparalleled.

I have read this book at least three times, and each time it is so inspirational based on what people describe as the love, joy, laughter and fun, of God, as well as the magnificent beauty of the heavenly realm that they encounter in coming in such a close relationship with God, Jesus and angels. Even the most magnificent scenes on earth pale in comparison to the perfect beauty of heaven. Sometimes I just have to put the book down after reading a few pages, with such joy in my heart, praising Him for who He is, how much He loves every aspect of me in spite of many failures, as His unique creation, and what is to come for eternity!

On occasion when I have been reading this book or doing something else, Brian Doerksen’s song started playing on the radio: Come, Now Is The Time To Worship. Brian is Canadian, but while working in the UK in the 90s as a worship leader, was dealing with some extra challenging times, and did a lot of praying. He was inspired with the words and music that God brought to his heart, and it has been one of the most appreciated Christian songs of recent decades. He passed away a couple of months ago and as a tribute to the song, it has been featured on Christian radio much more often. 

Here is the link: 

I encourage you to click on it, then close your eyes, sit back and listen, and reflect on the meaning in your life!

 

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A more challenging post...

The grieving process can take one in many different directions, and a lot of time. It has been about 2.5 years since Marie passed. I have had many books, pamphlets etc., to read, and help me through the grieving process. I have also been encouraged to join a grief share group for a few weeks, as it often enables many people to wade through the process. I am considering it….

Not to diminish in general the loss of a spouse, parent, sibling, child or whoever, but it is sometimes a rather direct cause, such as a heart attack, a vehicle accident or something, and may be fairly sudden. That can be devastating, for certain, and the grieving process will be difficult. Or it may be a long-term illness that takes several years to unfold. Believe me, I am not trying to diminish the loss. However I am quite convinced that in the situation that Marie and I were dealing with, resulting in her passing and my loss, it is quite a bit more complicated due to lifelong circumstances. It all started when she was quite young and continued in one way or another throughout her life. I pray that what I share will make some sense and be sensitive, but it will be a challenge to express the realities that have taken over.

First of all, I am quite convinced that God knew about all of this even before He created us, and brought us together for a definite purpose in the interesting way that I shared in a much earlier post. And I couldn’t be more thankful, and I praise God multiple times a day for the blessing it has been to have Marie as my wife and best friend. She is definitely a treasure and a gift from God.

She wasn’t perfect, none of us are, but God knew she was perfect for me. He also knew what we would be experiencing and faced with both as individuals and as a couple right from our earliest years. No question that I am so glad that He rescued her from the trauma she was struggling with, and the path she was heading down on. She is now even more perfect and beautiful in God’s heavenly realm. And now that she is gone, I have undergone an incredibly challenging learning curve, based in part on the content of so many of her journals that she was writing that go back to even before we ever met, and certainly a lot over the course of our marriage. I came across boxes of those journals after she passed, and read most of them. It was heart-wrenching to get a better understanding of her struggles.

As most of you will be aware, Marie was a victim of child sexual abuse via one or more perpetrators in the first few years of her life, and had an impact on her immediately. She was a real cutie even back then as the above photo shows her at about age 2! Those memories were tucked away as a defensive mechanism for years, but became more and more real to her in the adult years. She rarely expressed anything related to them to others, and most people never has any idea of what she was dealing with and how they were affecting her even towards the end. There is a reason they stayed less well understood in her earlier teenage/adult years, and I described a bit of that in an earlier blog as well. However one of the most important things to know, is that through the sexual abuse as well as other things which are somewhat less clear, but not through anything she was responsible for, the devil was having his way with her in various ways. There were demons affecting her, but I won’t go into details. There is 100% certainty that the demons were real. However the details are private and personal, and I have only mentioned them to one other person who we were spiritually connected to back in the ‘90s, and he was quite understanding and amazed at the reality of it. The demons were exorcised at the time, but according to Scripture (Luke 11: 25-27) which I have come across since then, they can return and bring fellow demons along with them. And they did, and I am totally convinced they were a significant reason for Marie’s decline and passing.

As I said earlier, God knew what we would be dealing with throughout our lives, even as we got older, as individuals and as a couple that He brought together for a purpose. His plans are what are best, no question. And one of the things I am struggling with, is what God intends for me to do with all of the things I have learned over the years regarding Marie’s struggles, especially in recent years. And how they now are impacting me, and am I learning all of this to be helpful to someone else? Or for some other reason??? Maybe just to rely on His love and faithfulness in all things, which I am learning to do more and more? God’s plans are perfect, and amazing, and on the one hand I am excited for those plans to unfold as my spiritual growth is evident to me. But since this is an area/topic which has become a more significant part of my life in recent years, what am I expected to do with it, and when? I can trust in Him to continue to help me grow bit by bit or perhaps in leaps and bounds, in preparation for those plans to unfold. It is intimidating in one sense, as this is very much new territory for me. But His plans are best! And I constantly pray many times a day for ears to hear His Holy Spirit speaking His truth to my heart and mind, and not be deceived by the lies of the devil who I know is trying to mess me up. As long as I hear God’s spirit speaking His truth to me, and act in accordance with His plans, it is what is best, that is for certain.

As an update, I have joined a local Grief Share group, which has just started recently. There likely will be some helpful things to discover over the weeks, in addition to some socialization with folks who are going through similar things.

 If you would like to subscribe to Life Is A Journey, send an email to me at: prairietramper@gmail.com