Death Valley

As stated in my previous post, my plans for the next post sometimes get altered. It’s happened again. Further to my recent post regarding mountains and valleys, along with a song by Tasha Layton Meet Me In The Valley, I dug a little deeper into why Tasha wrote this song. And I came across a short video of her venturing out to Death Valley National Park, to camp by herself for three days, so she could get closer to God. It was at some of her lowest points in life that she drew closest to her Creator, spending time just focusing on Him, and not getting distracted by the myriad things in life. Death Valley, at 282 feet below sea level, is one of the deepest spots on the planet, and certainly the lowest point in North America, surrounded by jagged mountains. In general, it looks quite bleak and devoid of life, although to a more trained eye, there is life in some sections. But it can reflect some of the most challenging times of one’s life.

 Here is the link to that video.

 Watching it was meaningful to me for a couple of reasons.

-in October of 1985 Marie and I visited Death Valley NP, and camped there, as well as explored some of the landscape. It was an incredible place. It is the lowest point in North America, being 282 feet below sea level. It was not busy at all, and except for the campground, hardly saw another person, and its huge desert and mountain landscape was very impressive. If one wanted to relate to being in a bleak valley, this is the place to go. Here are a few photos of that time a mere 9 years after we were married.

 

Zabriskie point in the middle

-I have been in many emotional valleys especially over the last couple of years since Marie passed away. I am very much alone, which is to be expected when the person you were joined together with in marriage for more than 47 years, is no longer with me. So there are many, many quiet and alone times. I certainly have known of God being with me, hurting with me, understanding and loving me and speaking to my heart and mind so as to carry on with His plans for this ongoing stage of my life’s journey. I could never have imagined what I have been through especially over the last decade, but God knew it was to happen, and prepared me for it over the years. It has not been easy, but there is assurance of His love and plans for me, one day at a time. Although I don’t know what He has in store for me in whatever future I have left, it is better if I don’t know and rely on Him moment by moment, every day. If I knew some details of my future, I would probably try and jump ahead and ultimately mess things up! It is always best if life’s plans unfold the way He intended.

I can certainly relate to why Tasha made a point of being in a remote valley out by herself. I explore God’s creation as much as possible, and most often by myself, getting to the quietest and more remote parts where I can focus on Him and His creation. It is by far the best part of my recent times, without Marie.

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Mountains and valleys are part of life!

This isn't what I originally had planned for the next post. But as I was preparing it, I realized I was dealing with ongoing challenges, as usual. Thoughts and emotions come and go, often several times a day. I have the radio on most hours of the day, and sometimes a certain song triggers those emotions, and that is what happened a short time ago, just after I finished re-reading a book on the grieving process. The song is called Meet Me In The Valley, by Tasha Layton, and it is a fairly new song, but is oh, so meaningful as one goes through peaks and valleys in life. I believe God arranges for certain songs to be heard when we need it! You can hear it, with the lyrics, here. It is based to a certain extent on some of her life's challenges, as she even became suicidal at one point early in her life. Regardless, it has great meaning for all of us!

We all go through challenges in life at various times. On occasion we are at a mountain top, and other times at the low points, in a deep valley and which seem impossible to get out of.

Regardless, we need to be aware that God is with us every moment of our lives, and either allows things to happen, or perhaps even orchestrates things, from which we can grow closer to Him, for eternity.

I might get back to my previously planned post, regarding creatures of the light, in my next post.

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Ongoing thoughts and emotions……more of the same???

I’ve been meaning to post before this, but have been wrestling with so many ideas and overlapping thoughts, some of which may be in future posts. But before I get to some of them, one of the things that keeps cropping up in my head, especially when I am driving in the van, is so many great memories of being with Marie. We used this van a lot, and it was a great vehicle to have and so far I am keeping it for the memories, and its functionality as we traveled here and there for various purposes:

-just locally doing errands, visiting friends, etc;

-traveling to many appointments in London, for example, or even to Burlington;

-going to Rondeau;

Marie on Tulip Tree Trail

-many trips to North Bay with lots of scenery on the way to the north;

Brook's Falls, north of Huntsville

Kristin & Marie at Laurier Woods CA, North Bay

-longer trips, such as to the west for family events;

Qu'Appelle Valley, SK

 

Overlooking Lake Superior

-or more local trips. The first photo is of Marie enjoying the extensive patch of Wild Lupine at St. Williams Conservation Reserve, Norfolk Co.

Next is of Marie exploring the base of Rock Glen Falls in north Lambton Co.

Regardless of the purpose, it was always great to be with Marie, and even driving this van these days, brings back so many wonderful memories of an exceptional spouse. And sometimes the emotions take over in various ways: praising God for so many blessings over the almost 48 years we were married, thanking Him for rescuing her from the path she was being led down, and sometimes crying out to Him saying ‘it’s so hard to be alone, without Marie; she was such an important part of my life, what am I supposed to do??’

 Some readers may wonder if the grieving period is, or should be, over since it has been more than two years since Marie passed away. However when the two become one in marriage, for so many years and then the better half is gone, it really leaves life being so empty compared to what it was.

 Sure I get out and explore God’s creation as much as I can, and those times are filled with so much enjoyment, some exercise, some photography and of course spending time with the Creator of the universe who loves me so much, and knew the state I would be in at this stage of my life’s journey. But there are a lot of other hours where the loneliness takes over, especially doing so many things around home that were done in part, for her, and now it is just me. The same motivation isn’t there, that is for sure.

One day at a time, and I  know God is with me every moment.

At other times, when I am out and about or even just at home, I can’t praise God enough for all of the blessings He has given me, throughout my life, some of which I have described in earlier posts. Everything I have, has been given to me due to God’s love for me. Recently I was watching a Sunday church service online, and the theme in part was money managing, and how we should be using it for God’s purposes. It was quite good, but I try and take it further.

A few months ago there was a sales person that came knocking at my door, trying to get me to sign up for his company’s internet, etc., and it included some gizmo that would provide security for the home. I told him that this house and everything I owned belonged to God, and I trusted Him to look after it, not some tech company. The sales person left shortly afterwards, without making a sale :-).

Everything I have, and I believe everything, is from God, whether it be my career, my passion for God and His creation, my finances, my home, my photography, etc. I can’t take any of it with me. God has given me these things to use for His purpose, and I try to use them for Him, but probably could/should do even more.

When we moved into this house back in 1988, there were only two very small trees on the entire property, both of which were at the front. Now you can’t see any part of the house from this part of the community park which is on two sides of our lot. (The roof line on the left is the neighbour's house). God loves trees….He created them! I love trees also, and couldn’t plant enough trees, shrubs and various flowers to make the basically empty lot look a bit more like His creation.

Trying to move forward, one day at a time.

 

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